Blah

Blah. Nuff said.

Feeling good...

Doing good this week. I always feel good when I'm productive. Let's go over the list:

• Consulting projects are going well - on target


• Joined NAWMBAs


• Registered for Health & Welfare Plans benefits exam


• Consulted with financial planner - home ownership here I come!

Yay me...

Pity Party

Everyone throws pity parties for themselves but lately it's been more often than not that I've had them. I just get so sad at the prospect of not having a family, which is what I want more than anything right now. I'm not nearly old enough to be having these kind of thoughts but I honestly get sad when I see children and mothers with their babies. I long for that life. It's quite pathetic actually.
And then I have this stupid idea in my head that I might not be able to have children, which I really wish I could let go because I don't want to bring that kind of negativity on myself. Today I couldn't even cry. Can you believe that? My tear ducts actually told me 'no'. It's all for the best anyway. :(

Kim, the cyclist?

So, I've been going on and on about wanting a bike for the past few weeks. I've been doing my "research" and hasrrassing all my friends for their info on bikes. I finally got one (thank you Craigslist) yesterday and I've been all about it. I'm currently waiting on my rack to arrive. I know, I know - so gay.

I went for my first ride yesterday afternoon and my body is sooooore. My legs are super sore, and I kinda think I was sexually assaulted by my seat. Not a pretty feeling ladies. Randomly my arms are pretty sore too, I'm assuming because of the way I was leaning? I don't know. I thought I was pretty good shape but I guess not, huh? Anyway, I will be before it's all over. Yay! Isn't it pretty?

I guess you really can't hurry love

Having gotten out of an extremely long term relationship last year, and being completely devastated as I watched something I thought would be forever come to an end, I was done with love. I thought I would sink into the abyss of having indiscriminate sex and channel the 60's and and 70's to present day and that would be the end of it.
Well it turns out that I'm not cut out for that kind of thing and I wasn't able to do it, not even once. :( I'm such a lame. I just kinda lived, learned myself and actually enjoyed the person I had become.
Now I'm at the point where I'm ready for love again, but real love. A real dating relationship where I actually get to learn the person that I'm with and he learns me as well, and we build a friendship. It sounds so cheesy as I read this aloud but I haven't had that in so long and deep down that's all I've ever really wanted. I'm constantly praying to God that I'm able to find this love and am so thankful that he's gotten me through those weak moments (a la last night) that could have ended to badly.
It's crazy that the older I get the more those oldies that I love so much hit home to me. Here's hoping...

The evolution of Gilbert

So I was having my mid-morning snack at work one day (I graze about every 3 or so hours), and I came across this weirdly shaped grape. At first I was completely creeped out by it (which isn't hard to do to me) but then I became intrigued. Oddly enough, my coworkers were equally as intrigued so we decided to keep him.

I happened to have an empty candy jar at my desk so I named him Gilbert (don't ask how he automatically became a 'he') and stored him in the candy jar. As time progressed and he was still holding on, he became sort of a science project. About 3 weeks in, I was just getting ready to say goodbye to Gil - yes, he had developed a nickname, when someone outside of our department looked in his cage and said, "what are you doing with that raisin?"

OMG! He was raisining!!! At that point, I decided to see just how far Gil would make it and that I would keep him a little longer.

Well, yesterday it seemed that Gil was on his last leg and I realized I needed to say goodbye (sniff, sniff). All in all I can say that Gil had a good life and his burial was tasteful and definitely did him justice. Goodbye Gil. Hopefully you know the joy that you brought to our lives. You will be missed.

And we're off!

I think this is going to be a good week. I’m in a great mood and my motivation from last night has spilled over into today. I went to the gym this morning, had a great workout and now my nose is to the grindstone. Here’s hoping…